Monday, March 25, 2024

Monday Question

 Do you eat all your food everytime it is put down in front of you or do you leave a little behind?

Do you skip meals?


I have been known to leave some food on the plate for the kitchen staff.

I rarely miss a meal.

Sunday, March 24, 2024

The Ruby Rose Report: Old Dogs, No Tricks

 



Mortal humans aren't aware, but all species have Presidents who meet in the dream world to settle problems between animals.

Charles has been dog President for ten years since he was four years old. He has done a great job. He is kind and wise and puts the well-being of all dogs first. However, the rules say that a president needs to be mortal, and Charles got sick and stepped down before going to the Bridge.

It has been so long since we have had an election, and all the good candidates have also gone to the Bridge. There are only two members of Charles' cabinet still on the mortal side: Hunter, a German Shephard, and Koltsov, a French Bulldog.

Hunter is 17, and Koltsov is 18. Foley visited me in my dreams, concerned that the two candidates' combined age is human years older than their country's. She asked me to vet the two candidates. I was honored.

I first met with Hunter, who began by telling me his plans to improve the lives of all dogs. I got to the point and asked if he thought his age hindered his candidacy.

"Of course not," Hunter said, then peed on the floor.

I tried not to act surprised and inquired why he made his water on the shag rug.

"Darndest thing, been doing it for a year now, my Mom doesn't complain." I said that was good, and he added, "She's just happy when I don't shit in the bed while she is sleeping." He began to swat in front of his face. "I could answer your questions a lot better if it wasn't for these damn bats."

I realized that our society would be destroyed if Hunter, who has a record of bitiing his guards, our leader.

At least we had another viable candidate. I went to see Kolstov, who, when I introduced myself, immediately began ranting about his being thrown out of the Daisy Meadows kennel for attacking other dogs.

"Those dogs were some real sickos," he said. "They weren't the best dogs. They had rabies, they had fleas, some of them, I suppose, were good boys. We are going to build a wall around the kennel and the cats are going to pay for it." He then rambled incoherently for 20 minutes.

I told Foley that neither candidate was impaired nor qualified to be our leader. She said it was too late to change candidates. For worse or worse, we were stuck with them.

Except for dark dog candidate Rib-Eye, who runs on a no rabies vaccine platform.

We are all screwed.

 

                       

Friday, March 22, 2024

Tales From Rainbow Bridge: Chief

 No photo description available.

 

Somewhere. Long forgotten in this story, was a person deciding where to hold an event, one of the hundreds of decisions they made to little effect, or so they thought. But the person, more than a decade ago, who scheduled a Petco conference in Boston changed the lives of several souls and ultimately brought about a group more substantial than a family, a pack.

At that time, the group that brought many of us together, Doggyspace, was bright new, and everyone got along before the things that divide humans crept into it.

When she learned her company conference would be in Boston, Miss Kate, on the other side of the country, had her dog Shiloh ask his friend Pokey, who lived in a suburb north of Boston, if his mom Miss Laure would like a visit from Miss Kate. Miss Laura said yes, more excited than Pokey.

As close as Miss Kate and Miss Laura were online, they became a thousand times closer in person. Miss Laura had found the daughter she had never had.

Miss Laura had given so much of her heart to her dogs and the rescues she would transport to their new homes on weekends that she ran out of them prematurely, leaving her beloved animals, Pokey, Maggie, and Toby behind. There was only one soul she trusted with those closest to her.

Miss Kate had recently lost her beloved Shiloh and was down to one pet, her regal cat Chief, who little knew what the future had in mind for him.

Because Miss Linda’s dogs were being transported to the new home from across the country.

Chief took his new life in style. He had loved Shiloh and knew no one dog could replace her, but three well-loved seniors could do the trick.

Toby went to join his mom first, then Pokey followed, leaving just Chief and the resilient Maggie. When the bridge angels came calling, it was thought they would come for a while, but they were unpredictable, and while both were struggling medically, Chief transitioned to the bridge.

          He was greeted by the humans who preceded him to the Bridge, then knocked on his back by Shiloh, who gave her brother 1,000 kisses. Behind him was Miss Laura, Pokey, and Toby, who now lived together at a mansion on the river.

          Miss Laura picked Chief up and gave her a soft scratch. “Your mom took my angels in when I came here, and I promised to give you a home, and love while you are here, you will never want for love.” Then, Chief followed Miss Laura and her old and new siblings to a home.

          They were not a family, not blood-related; they were something stronger than that.

          They were a pack, inseparable from now until the end of time and beyond.

Thursday, March 21, 2024

Poetry Thursday

 


 

 Angel Sammys and Teddy have provided for us a new picture to inspire the poet inside of us all.

Here is today's picture and poem

 

 

From the first day Sally arrived home

Her sister Susie let her feeling be known

There was something in the house they would best be rid

Because Susie hated the new freaking kid

 

“Make it go away,” she begged

She had this rotten baby pegged

She went on the Internet and began to take out bids

For someone who eliminated unwanted kids

 

She put X-Lax in her formula

Causing indigestion that sounded like a chamber ochresta

“You’ll never clean those marks of skid,”

Susie said about that poop covered kid.

 

Susie painted Sally’s face black.

And reported her sister had some kind of attack

Whatever she had could not be undid

They would catch the disease from this rotten kid

 

Susie put needles in Sally’s bassinette

And her parents did not sleep, not even a minute

“The baby is possessed,” Susie said knowing her parents weren’t aware of what she did.

In her efforts to rid the world of that rotten kid.

 

She snuck the baby out of the house putting it under a sign that read “free to a good home.

As long as you don’t mind a little down’s syndrome”

Her dad found her before she was taken by a couple living south of Madrid.

A city that was no place to raise a kid.

 

That night their parents sat up in bed

Realizing what had gone unsaid

Since Sally came home Susie had flipped her lid

And she was truly one rotten kid

Tuesday, March 19, 2024

Beat This Caption

 



Geez mom, at this point I think what happened to the fish is the least of our problems 

Wordless Wednesday