Friday, March 24, 2017

Tails From Rainbow Bridge: Foley Finds The Popular Dog Ranking Unpopular

On Tuesday morning Fox and Friends announced this year’s most popular dog breeds.
I love Fox and Friends.  They have been very kind to me.  They are excellent people.  And they are the world leader in commercials for walk in tubs and carpet cleaners.  Every morning I like to start my day with a cup of tea, a scone, and Fox and Friends where Steve Doocy, Brian Kilmeade, and an ever changing parade of blonde female co-hosts with the on air life expectancy of a Spinal Tap drummer (the last of whom spontaneously combusted on the air, or at least that is what I read), give me a fair and balanced view of the world for people who are incapable of turning around and seeing what is on the other side.  I like to think of Steve, Brian, and that random chick, as my good friends and breakfast companions.
I had mixed feelings about seeing this year popular dog breed rankings.  All dogs are great and should not be ranked separately.  I don’t think people would expect to hear Steve Doocy say “The rankings of human beings have been posted and for the 500th straight year white people are the most popular species,” except in the privacy of his dressing room.  
When I last stepped paw on the mortal side of the River of Life Yorkie ranked number six.  In the past two years, they fell to number seven.  I sincerely hoped the Yorkies I left behind could regain our Top Six ranking.
Number one was the Labrador Retrievers, again.  I cannot complain.  They are great dogs.  They always aim to please their parents.  Number two was the German Shephard dogs.  I know how devoted GSD parents are to their pups.  A worthy ranking.  Number three was the beautiful Golden retriever.  I love retrievers too.  That was a tough top three for a Yorkie to crack.  The bulldogs placed number four and the beagles number five.  That is a great top five.  
I sat up.  We were at six.  I held my breath.  Number six was the Frenchie.  I was disappointed.  But Frenchies are great dogs.  Four years ago they were number eleven, so it was good to see them climbing.  I had no problem finishing behind the Frenchie.  I waited for number seven.  It was the poodle.  Poodles?  One of my best friends, Blazer, is a poodle.  They are beautiful dogs.  But over a cute Yorkie?.  I guess.  They probably just edged us by a few votes.
Surely we are number eight?  And it is….the rottweiler.  Wait.  What?  A small little ball of cuddle against brute strength.  I guess in these troubled time you might need a big dog over a comfortable little one.
We landed at number nine in popularity.  The biggest tumble of any dog in the top ten.  Sigh.  This is what happens when I leave Pocket in charge of a breed.
Come on Yorkies!  Get cuter!  More snuggly!  Be adorable!  Leave no heart unturned!  We need to rise and take our rightful position in the top five.  I want everybody up early and working on their innocent looks, their spinning tricks, and snuggle!  Snuggle!  Snuggle!
I hope they can pull it off.  I can’t believe my breed has fallen so far since I left for the Bridge.
I need something to cheer me up.  Time for Hannity!